Thursday, March 3, 2011

The Human Centipede is prolly the sickest movie I have ever seen in my entire life

Okay, so lemme just start by saying: THIS IS THE SICKEST MOVIE I HAVE  EVER SEEN. As most of you know, I am very into all kinds of movies. I am...let's say, movie-cultured. My dad and mom are what I'd like to call The Godfather and Queen of movies. They have the most amazing taste in movies. Ever since I was young, they already exposed me to the world of good and 5-star worthy movies. Old movies are the best for me. Back in high school, most of my classmates didn't even know the movies I asked them to watch.

So, of all the movies I have watched since I could comprehend language and plots---The Human Centipede is the most horrendous and heinous movie I have encountered in all my 18 years on Earth. No shit.

I heard about this movie from my dad, of course. He asked me one time if I wanted to watch it, but I forgot why it never happened. I also heard it from my classmate (a guy who you do not want to be bullied by, but he has great taste in music and movies otherwise) who said that it was "disturbing" and he totally had me at "panuorin mo".

My friends Ashley and Lylet have been sleeping over here since forevs (I really want to adopt them, holy smokes) and since then we've been planning to watch The Human Centipede. And last night, we finally had the chance to.

Ah, before anything else, I want to give a summary about what The Human Centipede is about. So, there're these two American chicks named Lindsay and Jenny. They're tourists in Germany. They were supposed to be going to this smashing party, but as all horror movies start, the ended up in the woods and their car broke down. Lost  in the rain and about to quit, they venture forward to seek for help. Just as they were about to lose hope, they discover a house in the middle of the woods. This is where the scary part begins.

Dr. Heiter is this sick freak-o. He is known as a world renowned expert at separating conjoined twins, but his sick freak-o mind dreams of making creatures with one digestive system. And when the two girls step on his doorstep, he drugs them and takes them to his underground lab where he explains that he is planing to create a Human Centipede. Oh, and there's also this noisy Japanese dude involved. So, he explains to them that he is going to (*gags) surgically connect his three victims mouth-to-anus. Sick, I know.

That's as far as I can go. It will probably motivate some of you to watch it. I do not want to be spoiler.

My friends and I watched this. We were being brave. My friend Ashley watched the trailer first, but she couldn't handle it (trailer palang yan, ha?) and she cried. But after a while, she came to and we watched all of it. Ashley and I were crying and screaming at all the gross parts while our other friend Lylet, the brave and feisty one, laughed her heart out.After that movie, we went to watch a Disney movie. We needed a palate cleanser and cute and cuddly animated kittens did the trick.

BTDubs, Tom Six (the sick director of this movie) is making a sequel to this and will be probably be showing sometime this year. He said that it would be twice as sick and disturbing than the first one. He says that the first movie is like "My Little Pony" compared to the sequel. I am still having second thoughts if I should watch this movie.

If I do, I will be scarred twice for life.